Waves To Breath Through songfic collection
by Shirosaki413
Summary: this is a songfic collection and will have everything and anything from any Bleach couple out there. most of it will be grimmichi or hichiichi, but im willing to try more if you want. and it tells what the pairing is on the name of the chapter. X3
1. World So Cold  GrimmIchi

Song: world so cold, by three days grace.

this didnt win, no, in my poll, but i believe i am going to do a song-fic for just about every song, so...yeah. anyways, go check out that poll and vote some more, neh? it would help me update faster X3

_**XXX**_

**I never thought I'd feel this  
>Guilty and I'm broken down inside<br>Livin' with myself nothing but lies  
><strong> 

I closed my eyes, willing my tears to stop before I fell deep into a whirlwind of depression. I've been getting those lately, and there was only one reason as to why I've had lover, my life, my solitude, and my world, had fallen right in front of me, his life already faded from his eyes as he collapsed to his death. He died for me. He died because of me. Don't you think that it's amazing that a single bullet can take more than one's life away? not only my lover's, but whatever life i had also made up? It's true. And the only thing I have left to hold onto, the only thing that made me feel human anymore, was living with myself, the guilt welling up in my body until I could never feel another thing in my solitary life. I'm pitiful. But, just as everyone else but Grimmjow, I don't care. anymore, at least.

**I always thought I'd make it  
>But never knew I'd let it get so bad<br>Livin' with myself is all I have**

After he died, I thought I could still make something of myself. I thought I could deal, I thought i was stronger than I am, but as time went by, it dawned on me that I could never see him again. Feel his touch on my body. Taste the sweat n his lips as I kissed him. Heard his coo's of a lovers carass, nor smell his cologne after he took a well-deserved shower. He wasn't there anymore to comfort me.

I'd let the depression and anxiety comfort me. I'd let it embrace me. and look what happened. this...shell of a person I was. My other half died because of me.

I was so weak.

**I feel numb  
>I can't come to life<br>I feel like I'm frozen in time**

Too much anger towards myself, I knew, led to this. The world was just too...cruel, for what people say. I felt like the world was no longer revolving, like it was frozen in time, stuck because I screwed it up. I guess it was my alternate hell. I guess I was already too far gone to believe anything else that sputtered out of my lips, those dead lips that would never meet Grimmjow's again. His lips had been perfect. They were rough and chapped sometimes, and others smooth and relaxing. Most of the time I believed I could get lost in those alone, if I was not already.

But my world was already frozen without him. It was gone, falling, and finally wasting away until there was nothing left but crystal bone.

**Livin' in a world so cold, wasting away  
>Livin' in a shell with no soul since you've gone away<br>Livin' in a world so cold, counting the days  
>Since you've gone away, you've gone away<strong> 

Why, Grimmjow, did you have to do that to me? Why, Grimmjow, did I _let _you do that to me? Did you just...have to die? It was somethign I've brooded from time to time in my life. I was living in this...portable body without a soul in it since you've gone somewhere. They have said this over and over, that your in a better place, but are you? Are you in a better place without me? Are you...happier?

I've been counting days, months, years, even decades since you made it up there. Every day your day comes around, your birthday, or even your death date, I find myself wanting to visit you. I find myself wishing for you, but even as tha happens, it would never happen, would it? the world wouldn't let that happen - living in this cold, cold world.

Currently, as i sat down on the swing, another cold breeze swept past me. I didn't shiver. I haven't for a while. Ever since that has happened to me, I find myself too lost in my mind to onder about the outside world anymore. I wish Icoult see you, Grimmjow. You always thought there was a world after you died, you believed ghosts were there. But Grimmjow, are you there? Did your wish come true, to be someone in the afterlife who mattered? A strong, independant man, who didn't bow down to any piece of shit there? Grimmjow, are you a king?

You were the king to me.

**Do you ever feel me?  
>Do you ever look deep down inside<br>Starin' at yourself, paralyzed?  
><strong> 

Have you finally reached Nirvanna, Grimmjow? I really hope you have. And even though I could never see you again, I wish you well.

Sometimes I wonder, can you see me up there? And if you can, what would you say to me? Would you be upset, or would you be amused, per say 'come on, Ichi. I know your better than this!' in your scruffy, demanding voice that could send shivers throughout my body. Well, what is it like, to be dead?

Do you feel good?

Do you feel angry?

do you feel...happy?

"Shit." I muttered to myself as it started to rain. After a few minutes, it started to pour. I still didn't shiver, because my skin was already accustomed to the cold, with only a white tee-shirt on in the middle of January. People call me flat-out stupid and emo when I do this, but I few it was accustoming to the cold world I live in now. I felt as if I was a part of it, melted gold into the sun. Maybe I was, only a pawn for the death of Grimmjow.

**I feel numb  
>I can't come to life<br>I feel like I'm frozen in time**

I've always felt numb. It was something I was used to now. Just like Grimmjow used to say, I adapted to something so easily it usually scared him.

As I kicked the mud away from my sinking foot, I think about all my friends who had abandoned me. Back when we were actually friends who would die for eachother, if it were like that now, they would cheer me up (or attempt to) and say I was being an idiot. But, as they know now, I couldn't come back to life anymore. No more than Grimmjow.

**Livin' in a world so cold, wasting away  
>Livin' in a shell with no soul since you've gone away<br>Livin' in a world so cold, counting the days  
>Since you've gone away, you've gone away from me<strong> 

I stood. I wasn't going to take this shit anymore. There was only one way to maybe, jsut maybe, find out if Grimmjow was right. Maybe, just maybe, in this ever-so-bred-of-evil world, I could see Grimmjow again.

The destination was the haggity old bridge back where Grimmjow and I used to hang out.

Where I would fall.

**I'm too young to lose my soul  
>I'm too young to feel this old<br>So long, I'm left behind  
>I feel like I'm losing my mind<br>**

Fuck. Losing my life only when I was twenty-three. This was shit. But it was better than the state I was in, the state where I've already tasted too much of life. I've tasted cutting, beating, killing, arguing, rape, running away, and...being with Grimmjow. That was the only good thing that has happened in my life.

As I walked on, I could here raven's crowing in the distance. I flinched as tears started up again. Holding them back, I was used to this. It's not like you can just outright cry in the middle of class.

Leaves crunched under me. I then shivered. yeah. I've met too much of life. So many emotions bottled up in so little time...it wasn't like I didn't try to help myself. Theropy sessions, I tried to go to. But I couldn't ever find the will to talk. It was a depressing feeling - to not be able to talk to anyone anymore. I got used to it.

I walked on.

For once, I was sure about something in my life other than loving Grimmjow.

**Do you ever feel me?  
>Do you ever look deep down inside<br>Starin' at your life, paralyzed?  
><strong> 

If Grimmjow were only here now. If he could see what I was going to do now.

The bridge came into view, about a half a mile still away. I smirked. He would probably scream at me and tell me I was stupid again. He would tell me I was a complete idiot, and if I persued, he would eventually yank me back to our home in which he would lecture me for days on end. I chuckled, humor still far from reaching my voice as I continued. My legs buckled under me, but that was ignored completly.

Then I stopped to think something.

Would he even stop me now, or would he believe it was the best for me to get my life over with? If he were still alive, of course.

I shook my head. he always knew best. He wouldn't stop me, he would fall in with me.

I just knew that.

I continued to the bridge.

**Livin' in a world so cold, wasting away  
>Livin' in a shell with no soul since you've gone away<br>Livin' in a world so cold, counting the days  
>Since you've gone away, you've gone away from me<strong> 

When I got there, I could already here the rushing water under my sholess foot. I smiled. Maybe I would meet Grimmjow, in the afterlife. That blue hair, that intoxicating smell, that wonderful, cocky, arrogant smirk, and that loving side that no one ever knew but me. Maybe he'd be back.

Pfft, like bloody hell. In this vile world, where peopl are depressed and anxious left and right, what good could be left in it? not much, I believe.

I stepped to the edge. Grimmjow flashed briefly through my mind, as stared down at the water. I was too high up to see much more than a black outline of me in the water.

"_You idiot..." _I heard somethign whisper in the wind. Smiling, I looked out at the sunset. That was Grimmjow's voice. And, even though I knew it was a hallucination, it stragnely calmed me. "_Ichi, why do ya gotta do this?" _the wind said to me again, as it blew harshly past me. I put one foot over the edge.

"I'm not doing it for you, Grimmjow, I'm doing this for me." I whispered, as a genuinly happy smile fell from my lips.

"_you..." _

I fell.

Deeper, deeper, and deeper down, I fell, until I felt the stinging pain of belly-flopping in the icy water, not even bothering to swim as the sunset fell into the lake. With another chuckle, i felt the breath fall out from my lips, until I became numb under water. Pleasently, I felt my heart-beat slowly come to a stop, as i finally let the blackness of the cold world engulf me also, bringing me down to rest in the solitude. Just like a bird who was stripped from it's feathers or wing, I was stripped from my lover because of my selfish acts.

And, in my own was, I was repenting.

And, finally, hanging on with the last bit of light of the world, I hoped, someday, I would be abe to see Grimmjow again.

And, just maybe, that stubborn bastard would forgive me for doing this.

Just maybe.

**I'm too young  
>I'm too young...<strong>

_**XXX**_

Hope you liked guys, and I hoped you cried over this Dx it was my goal, but i dont think even i qould cry over this.

IMPORTANT: yush, my computer did crash. why does this only happen to people who enjoy writing? DX...anyway, my updates will be cancelled for a while until i can recover the remainder of my fanfics. and dammit, i had a good start on assassins too. blame this fucking shitty computer DX

R&R PLEASE! **  
><strong> 


	2. Whisper  GrimmIchi

**Catch me as I fall**

**Say you're here and it's all over now**

**Speaking to the atmosphere**

**No one's here and I fall into myself**

**This truth drives me**

**Into madness**

**I know I can stop the pain**

**If I will it all away**

I want him to keep me. I want him to help me survive, I want him to protect me from my inside emotions. The one's that haunt me in my dreams, the one's that make me scream as I wake up, and the one's that make my own mind swirl closer and closer into insanity as days continue to pass. I try, god know's I try, to will this...weakness away, but I just know, it won't ever happen. And when he gives me that cocky, arrogant smirk, i believe everything will be okay. I hoped, I hoped so _bad. _

**[Chorus:]**

**Don't turn away**

**(Don't give in to the pain)**

**Don't try to hide**

**(Though they're screaming your name)**

**Don't close your eyes**

**(God knows what lies behind them)**

**Don't turn out the light**

**(Never sleep never die)**

I'm scared, every day, that he will leave me, that he won't give me the time of the day and go off onto another person and love them for the rest of his life. I wouldn't stop him, never, because I love him. I always will. After what he's done for me...all the good, and sometimes bad things, I couldn't help but love him.

I never want him to leave my side. Maybe I'm pitiful this way, or maybe I'm a total...weak bastard, or maybe I don't even deserve protection. But you, Grimmjow, out of all people, should know the answer. No. I could never...own this much love, for it would end up breaking me slowly from the inside. And yet I let it happen. And, if he left me, I was sure to break. I wouldn't worry, though. I wouldn't live long after that, I wouldn't let myself have any more pain, for I would just...die there.

I'm weak. I know this. But still, Grimmjow, if you can hear me, hear me call out to you, please don't leave my side. Please don't leave me.

**I'm frightened by what I see**

**But somehow I know**

**That there's much more to come**

**Immobilized by my fear**

**And soon to be**

**Blinded by tears**

**I can stop the pain**

**If I will it all away**

I watch the sight before me. I watch it, stricken in fear, anger, resentment, and...heartbreak. I willed myself to believe Grimmjow would never...never do this to me, but I guess he found it amusing in the end. I watch, I watch, and I watch, until I couldn't watch anymore. Then, with all my might, I let out a terrified and agonizing scream. Tears evaded my eyes almost as quickly.

"HOW COULD YOU!" I scream. Two people, my own goddamn brother and Grimmjow, turn to me, obviously flushed from their activities. I flinch as their gazes fall on me as they lay, lay down, on OUR bed, in MY home. I twitch.

"i-ichi!" Hichigo, my brother, exclaimed. "I can explain!"

I let my gaze fall to the floor. Shaking my head quickly, I look back up, my fst's already at my sides as they look at me in worry. Fuck them. Fuck them all. "y-you..." my fingers twitch, before I turned my head, and ran out of the room. they didn't follow me. I was glad.

After what seemed like forever, I fell onto the ground, oblivious to where I was. It felt something like an alley, but I didn't mind it, it was cold.

I closed my eyes, the flashback of walking back in on Grimmjow and Hichigo replaying in my mind. Curling up, I let out a sharp, angry cry. No one could hear me, so I didn't care. Or so I thought.

"Well, well. What do we got 'ere?" a voice penetrated the dark silence. I flinched, but didn't look up as multiple footsteps came my way. I didn't dar move when they stopped. "Hm. You look mighty fine, mind if we take a taste?" 

I curled up tighter. I was too weak, mostly emotionally, to fight back. Slowly, ever so slowly, I stood, and looked the man in the eye. I never saw him before. I didn't care. "Fuck me." I stated, as people behind the man shifted in complete shock.

"Huh. Grimmy told me ya were a feisty one, man, but the fuck? Pitiful. And yet...so delicious."

**[Chorus:]**

**Don't turn away**

**(Don't give in to the pain)**

**Don't try to hide**

**(Though they're screaming your name)**

**Don't close your eyes**

**(God knows what lies behind them)**

**Don't turn out the light**

**(Never sleep never die)**

I didn't cry for him to save me. I wouldn't, anymore. After they left me, from their...previous sex escapades, I was left in the alley. It was cold, dark, and raining. I sat there, completly un-clothed, staring out into no where. More footsteps came my way. I didn't look at him, her, it. It was a single person. It was running towards me. I didn't look up as the figure stopped, but I heard panting, as if it was running on and on, but still, I didn't bother looking up. It didn't matter if I was completly un-clothed.

"I-ichi?" looking away, I sneered as a recognized the voice.

Grimmjow.

**Fallen angels at my feet**

**Whispered voices at my ear**

**Death before my eyes**

**Lying next to me I fear**

**She beckons me**

**Shall I give in**

**Upon my end shall I begin**

**Forsaking all I've fallen for**

**I rise to meet the end**

"What do you want?" I say to him, not daring to look into his eyes as I feel a new kind of storm rain all over my face. My eyes, already blurry, became almost un-seeable.

"What happened?" he questioned, as if he was shaken. I snorted, obviously humored by the fact that he was so...ugh.

"Why do you care?" I shot back, standing up. Right after, I felt his fingers latch onto my flinching, spasming arm. I hissed, finally looking into his eyes. didn't look too deep, because I didn't want to find the emotions locked away in the window's of his soul.

"Look, I told you we could ex-"

"I don't WANT you to EXPLAIN!" I shout, tearing away the fingers from my arm. stumbling back in anger, I turn my head as I rant. "I don't fucking care what reason you have. excuse, same fuckin thing. You knew..." I let out a shake, as I looked into his eyes, depression and resentment surely in my eyes. "You guy's knew everything that has happened to me...and yet you do this? It's like tearing needles into me ALL OVER AGAIN! how could you do that to me, huh? HOW COULD YOU?" I rasp, my head completly spinned. The aftersmell of sex lingers on my body. "I hope you know, when I die, that the last one who fucked me was your _best friend. _I didn't recognize him at first, but now I know."

"Who?"

"Nnoitra. And everyone in his gang." I stood, with every last bit of dignity left in my broken, abused, torn, naked body, and I walked past him. He didn't move. "He was the one who fucked me last. Not you. and I will NEVER, EVER let you lay your dirtied hands on me EVER again. ESPECIALLY when you decide to fuck my brother."

I didn't stop. "I thought you loved me! I thought you would protect me from myself! But LOOK WHAT YOU DID!" I scream, as I turned back around to face his back. I saw him flinch. Good. He deserves it. "Y-you...I placed all my hope into you, I let you...I let you in so easily. And look what happens! THIS! YOU KNOW WHAT, GO BACK AND GO FUCK MY BROTHER! GO, GO YOU IGNORANT BITCH!" I turn, and ran away. Forever. The rain pelted deeper down, and my bare skin tingled in numbness.

_**~A YEAR LATER~ **_

Grimmjow looked at the news from his TV. He was embraced around millions of types of alcohol, but right now, he was immersed in Smirnoff.

"Today, a twenty-seven year old man was found at the stream of Kakura, just below the Koko river." _where Ichigo and I first met. _Grimmjow thought. His heart ached. "He seems to have commited suicide. However, there is a tape left at the scene. It is a bit disturbing, so tune out if you would not liketo hear."

"_Grimmjow."_ the tape started. Grimmjow sucked in a breath. It was Ichigo's voice. "_Whatever you may think, you didn't do this to me. But it still hurt. and no matter what, remember, Grimm, I still love you. Don't be upset...I forgive you both. My brother also. What I told you, Grimmjow, about not protecting me? It was a lie. You protected me better than anyone could. Remember, Grimmjow. I love you. I'll watch over you, for what it's worth. I hope you have a long and happy life with my brother, and possibly find another love. I love you." _

Te recording stopped. Grimmjow, choking on his own tears, found himself curling in a ball as depression engulfed him. He cried. Hard, then harder, then harder, until he couldn't even attempt to cry anymore. "Ichig, Ichi, Ichi..." he chanted. He didn't move. He couldn't.

Ever so slowly, after hours on end, Grimmjow stood.

Hichigo burst into the house. A man he hadn't seen in a year. "Did you - ?"

"Don't. Just...don't." Grimmjow said, more to himself than anyone. As if he were a mummy, he walked past Hichigo, who stood shocked.

"Where are you...?"

"The Bridge." Grimmjow stated montonously. He didn't look back, but he shut the door to his house, and blindly walked forward. He didn't stop, he kepts walking, over and over.

"_I thought you loved me!" _Ichigo's voice rang in his mind. _"You didnt do this to me." _He did. He did this to Ichigo. He...he killed his lover.

He didn't stop. Grimmjow didn't stop, of course, until he came to meet up with the same bridge Ichigo jumped off of. He flinched, but moved closer to the edge. He wanted to be with Ichigo again. And there was only one way.

"I did it." Grimmjow whimpered as he looked into the dark.

As he stood on the ledge, he shivered. It was cold. He didn't mind.

"Ichigo, I did love you. More than my being. I loved you, I loved you so, so much." Grimmjow started to chant as he closed his eyes. "I was never there to protect you, and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for...Hichigo, I swear, Ichi, I didn't know what I was doing. Nnoitra gave me a drug, from Szayel, I guess, and it was just wearing off when you came in. He gave us both the dose. I didn't...it isn't an excuse, but Ichigo, I'm so fucking sorry."

As the last of his tears slide down, Grimmjow jumped. Wind came. Then panic. Then drops of water. Then all of the water.

Grimmjow closed his eyes as he slowly drowned to the bottom of the lake.

"_Ichigo...I love you." _he thought then.

with a gurgle, he spoke into the water.

"I'm coming to save you."

**[Chorus x3]**

**Servatis a periculum [save us from danger].**

**Servatis a maleficum [save us from evil].**


	3. Instrument of Violence Part1

**I am now an instrument of violence  
>I am a vessel of invincibility<br>I cannot leave this undecided  
>Stepping down to battle another day<strong>

XXX

(GRIMMJOW POV) 

Once, many, many years ago, I may have portrayed a human. I may have breathed like a human, felt emotions like a human, and maybe even loved like a human. But now, now… all I am is a vessel for killing. I don't remember much of my past life at all, now all I remember are the days of solitude I endure without pain for my master, my general. It's not like I do this willingly, more like unwillingly being made into this…thing. Wait, scratch everything I just said. I do have emotion. I have anger. It was my friend.

Who damned me to this pitiful life of hell? None other than the bastard himself - Aizen.

Aizen was our leader, our owner, and most of all, the man who held all of our lives in the little fucking palm of his golden hands. He told us everything about our target, or our fighter, including weak spots and off of that shit, and then used us to kill off his enemies one by one. The only enemies he knows of and doesn't kill are us, because he knows we won't lift a finger to his little pussy ass. It annoys the living hell outta me. But I am to do nothing, because if I do, I will be the next one on his hit list.

But secretly, I cheer for the people who stand against him and live.

Yes, someone, and only one, lived while he stood against the brunette. His name is Ichigo Kurosaki. I fought him once, and yes, he beat the living daylights out of my ass. I was a bit happy that he did.

He became my new idol.

Whether he knew this or not, I didn't care. Of course I kept this shit secret too. If Aizen found out even a little bit of how I secretly cheer on the orange haired volcano, my head would be on the chopping block faster than I can say 'kiss my ass!' And I did wanna say that to him. Very bad. But if I did, of course, I would have another beating, and this time, it wouldn't be mediocre. I would be dead. Still though, I fight on, making myself better so I can fight Kurosaki again. I want to – he gets my blood going so _easy. _Everyone in this underground facility of Aashrith (ruler) knew that he was rebellious and striking, and no matter how many times Aizen tries to discipline him, his will never break and he keeps fighting on. And Aizen wouldn't kill him. Fuck no; he's too valuable for that shit. I and he are the REAL ones who make his money. Not any other weak-ass fighter.

Fuck, maybe I only like Kurosaki because of his will, maybe because of his strength, maybe because of his stubbornness and defiance, but all I knew was that he was _real. _He wasn't some joke or imitation that Aizen conjured up in his stupid-ass scientific mind. But I knew his emotions were _real. _

**Remember me for all time**

**This determination is a vital part of me**

**Surrender now or be counted**

**With the endless masses that I will defeat**

Someday, I was going to escape from Aizen's snotty little clutches. I would break free from the chains I was constantly consumed in, and if heavenly possible, take Kurosaki with me. But who the hell cares why I feel this way? I didn't know why even. But, my hopes were always crushed by my own reality, because I knew it would never, _ever, _come true. I mean, who the fuck can get away from Aizen? Not even Bruce Lee or Chuck Norris, and they were fucking legends. If anything, if it were even _possible _to escape Aizen, it would be Kurosaki that did it. Everyone knew this. And they accepted it.

XXX

Currently, I was facing a woman. She looked like a total Dyke, but who was I to judge? She was just fighting for her life, just as much as we all were. I'll give her the fact that she was strong – because she really was. Just not strong enough to me. Unlike her, I use my spare time going out on missions to the outside world to kill people, hurt them, or threaten them. I didn't know who had it better, either. Me or them.

She delivered a kick to my side.

I took it, pulled her foot, and slammed my head into hers.

She stumbled back.

I slammed her face into the wall of the pool-like structure we were fighting in.

People cheered.

I sneered.

Stupid, annoying, cunt-licking assholes.

I don't know how live people deal with this shit. I'd like to see _them _get into this damned ring and right for their life. See how long their shit will last.

As I fought, I thought of things. I always did. To get my mind of the fight; I needed to do that to win.

Which brought me back to the fact no one would end up living in this fucking cage of a life, no one on the outside world. No soldier, no warrior, not person remotely _human. _I told you, I was a vessel for killing. I was nothing. I was a toy. There was no give in my chest, it was as hard, or possibly harder, than a rock, and I was tall, and I could face stamina like no other. Besides Kurosaki. He was a totally different story indeed.

Kurosaki had stealth. He had quickness. He had strength. He could use any weapon given to us, and work it expertly, much like his hand to hand combat. He made me feel alive again. When I ever fought him, which wasn't usually, I _always _kept my mind on the fight. I watched his body slip and move, but then I lost track of it as he beat the living shit outta my life. The one reason we don't usually fight is because neither of us can die. Unlike this chick, who was losing her life quickly. She almost looked happy. Fuck if I care.

Another kick was delivered to my side. It hit, in the exact same spot, making me cough slight blood. I ignored it.

A punch to the bottom of the jaw. I just barely deflected it, and countered it with a sweep of my leg, making her fall to the ground in surprise. An agonizing howl was lt out from her as she landed on her broken\dislocated arm, twisting it into a way not able to describe.

I smirked. She would die soon.

**Come on bring it, don't sing it, better believe it**

****

**Broken down till your hope has died**

**Beat down 'til victory's mine**

**Stand up and show me some pride**

**And now are you ready?**

I then take a deep breath. I picture Kurosaki just then, fighting me to the death, and I can't help but pause a bit. Quickly covering that up, I sent a quick jab to her hip, sending the legs that held her up to crumble slowly and painfully down, now un-able to work. I give a round of applause to her for not crying out at the immense pain I was sure she was in. my own intense blue orbs send her a look of pity, and agony, as I glance at her. Ever so slowly she nods to me, signifying to finish her off. It sounds as if she got tired of all this shit too.

All of it.

My leg lifted.

It rose to meet her neckline.

I spun around.

Her body slams directly into the concrete blood, smearing it with a heavy coat of crimson blood. I then raise my arm, wiping of the heavy sweat I consumed through my nose and my lips, and sighed. The crowd, those ignorant people in the crowd, cheered me on as if I was a god. Hardly. I am destruction. I am something, unlike many others, except maybe Kurosaki. He was just like me. And maybe that's what attracted me to him, the way he was almost exactly like me. He was a monster.

But I was worse.

XXX

As I cleaned the blood myself from the room I was in, I heard the slight sound of someone slipping into the door. I didn't glance back at the person, even though not knowing who it was, but I spoke.

"What the fuck do you want?" I say gruffly as I continue to sew through my wounds, like it caused me no pain. It didn't, really, I got used to it a long time ago. Now all I feel is the slight indulgence of the pin sticking in and out of me, sealing my body and showing who I belonged to. Why I couldn't die. It made me sick.

"That was a very impressive show there, Grimmjow." I heard the silky, baritone voice speak, before I realized who it was. My body froze as I recognized it, and ever so slowly, I turned to meet shining, yet hollow and beaten, yet strong and willful, brown eyes.

"Not any better than the usual." I sneered, almost disgusted in myself for killing another person who was beaten and forced into fighting. I was glad, somehow, every time I killed someone. It meant I ended their misery. And yet, I'm still alive, fighting another day in the place of fighters and fighters before me.

"True." Kurosaki stated, as he closed the door behind him, making his way over to me in my room.

"Now I ask again, what the fuck didja want, Kurosaki?" my voice betrayed how excited I was. As usual, I wanted to know what he wanted to do with me, but at least I betrayed my thoughts into confidence. I didn't need Kurosaki going and thinking I was a weak shit. Not that he would think I was – with all the killings I have encountered. Fuck, I don't even think he views himself above me. Even though he is.

Kurosaki smirked in my direction as he took the initiative to sit down on my beaten, ripped, and torn tan couch. I could hear the springs retracting against his firm ass – the stupid things are probably uncomfortable for him. "I want to get away from Aizen." He spoke sullenly. I almost cackled. Get away from Aizen? What the fuck does he thinks he'll do to fool that dickhead? 

I settled in for a small laugh. "The fuck? It ain't even possible!" I say, raising a brow at his stupidity. As much as I'd like to believe him, I knew it wasn't going to happen.

"Oh, but it is." Kurosaki spoke seriously. He motioned for me to sit down, but I only stood there dumbly as I pondered his words. It is possible? Fuck. It isn't. even as much as he'd like to believe it is, it just isn't. The fighter motioned again, this time more angry, glaring at my form as he told me with his eyes to sit.

I did.

"How?" I spoke before I could even think. He looked just so sincere – there must be a way. Or maybe, I'd just die trying. Well, at least it'd be for Kurosaki.

Kurosaki's eyes lit up at my answer. He looked like I kid no Christmas now, all cheery and shit. I don't even know why.

He may be strong, but damn, he's one helluva idiot.

Kurosaki scooted closer and moved his voice to a whisper. "There's this tunnel, out in the arena, which reaches around the whole entire town. Eventually it moves to the sewers. It was made from the old prisoners that escaped, and it's so complicated that only a few people know how to actually get through them. Call it a labyrinth, if you will. I need you to stage me in a fight, and we can both make our escape as soon as the guards pull off and the glass is risen for our fight." He explained to me. I nodded in understanding. I heard about those tunnels, but I always thought they were a common myth.

"How do you know this?" I ask Kurosaki while leaning back to stare accusingly into his eyes. A smile plays on his lips.

"Let's just say…my family isn't the cleanest of all of those little bastards out there." Kurosaki stated mysteriously. I narrowed by eyes, but didn't question it. It was his own personal shit, and I didn't need to get into it,

"Why are you taking me, out of everyone here?" I state curiously, my brow furrowed. "There are plenty of idiots in here easier to sneak out. Like that one guy, Kaien is it? Not half as bad as me." I roll my eyes, thinking the odds. I mean, who the fuck can miss orange and blue headed men running around? Shit, man, what an idiot.

"Because your special." He didn't elaborate on it, but I saw something in his eyes that I couldn't identify. My eyes, now slits, accused his own more, demanding answers. He only smiled. "I want you to get Aizen to let us fight." He told me in a calm voice, looking me directly into the eyes with his fiery orbs of steel. I let a smirk slowly, ever so slowly, crawl into my lips.

"On one condition." I state, a large smirk pulling onto my dried skinned lips.

He raised another delicate eyebrow, this time questioning and not amused. "And that is?" he stated, while he licked his own lips unconsciously.

I chuckled. "Then kiss me."

…

To say he was shocked was an understatement. He looked at me, his big, doe, innocent as can be eyes the size of plates, a thin blush adorning his tanned features as he took the silence to gather his thoughts. I couldn't blame him, what I was asking was seriously absurd, and to him, maybe even disgusting. Maybe he didn't even want to go on with the plan now, that….yeah, you get the fucking point. It was a stupid thing to ask. Gusty. And very, _very _stupid.

The orangette that I have been looking at for the past minute opened his lips once, then shut them, then opened him again. He didn't look like he knew what the fuck to say. For his credit, I wouldn't know either.

But then, he did something completely and utterly shocking.

He leaned in on the couch; his blush deepening as he coated his lips with saliva to keep them wet, and ever so slowly, kissed me. His lips, warm and soft, felt like heaven as they reached mine in a desperate, (and good I mind you) attempt to kiss me. You could tell he had never did something like this before, because it was sloppy and not at all in sync, but he didn't seem to notice it as he slowly began to move his lips against mine. After a few seconds, he got the hang of it, and began to kiss rapidly, as he body moved to straddle mine on the couch. I wondered if he knew I could feel the desperateness in him. I wasn't too keen on asking him, either.

His strong, toned arm draped around my shoulders as he continued to kiss me, softly, and not rushing. Maybe even shyly, I couldn't tell. All I knew was that it felt good, and so _right, _to be next to him like this, claiming his mouth at what was going to be mine in a VERY short time, and my hands on his hips rubbing circles to calm him down.

Before I knew it, Kurosaki pulled away, and looked me directly in the eyes with a satisfied, plump, lusty stare. Before I could say anything, he buried his face into my neck, hoping to get away from my looks as embarrassment took over him. I smiled gratefully. _He was just too cute._

"Ya don't gotta be shy, Kurosaki." I state, almost smugly, as I wrap my arms around his waist. He guffawed.

"Yes I do. And stop calling my Kurosaki. It's annoying." He mumbles into my shirt dejectedly.

"Tell me, that yer first?" I ask him. He doesn't answer right away, but then he slightly pulls back to look me in the eyes.

"The first willing one." He states, but doesn't elaborate. I already have an idea of who it may be that took away his first kiss. Probably Aizen, and that gave me the creeps. But then I thought, it was Kurosaki…*cough* woops, _Ichigo, _that I was kissing, not Aizen.

I grin at him. He ever so slowly smiles back at me from his view of my twinkling eyes. "I'm glad." I state, trailing my index finger along his tailbone.

"So am I." he told me shyly. It was almost a whisper. I grinned triumphantly. He hit me in the chest. Hard. I ignored that and continued to grin. He scowled darkly, and glared at me, trying to pull off. I didn't let him go. Why would I, when I just got him?

"You-"

"Arrogant, cocky, sexy bitch?" I call out playfully, tickling his sides. He starts to spasm, and laugh at the same time, causing us to end up tangling into an all out wrestling match on the old carpet floor I own. A few punches are thrown my way carelessly, which I easily deflect, soon pinning him to the ground while we pant ruthlessly as he smile(him) or grin(me) at each other.

"You bastard." He shakes his head at me, still smiling, his usually cold and stone face now lit up in true emotion. And I guess mine was, too, for once in my life.

Maybe, just maybe, Kurosaki could turn me into something other than an instrument of violence.

Maybe, even, perhaps, a human being.


End file.
